So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
