I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
