with your own penis?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
