You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
