i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
