you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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