Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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