Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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