Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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