If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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