She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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