That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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