I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
