I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
