brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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