i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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