I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize