You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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