I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
soo... how was my night?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize