fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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