Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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