so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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