Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
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The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
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So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize