Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
