My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
