2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
