As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
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I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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