when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
