so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
my poor anus
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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