smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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