covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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