I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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