i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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