Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
