Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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