I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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