she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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