when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Randomize
