You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
