I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
