From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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