That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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