glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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