that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
