I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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