i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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