the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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