it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
