Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize