Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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