i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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