Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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