So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
