Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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