too bad you live with your parents still
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
