dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
