The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
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I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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