so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
You can't special order awesome
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
