absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
