TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
