Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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