you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
